thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
