yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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