Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
