My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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