OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
