What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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