bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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