you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
PANTIES FOUND
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