Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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