I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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