I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
