we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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