ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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