it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
