And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
