Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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