2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My penis needs a shock collar
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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