Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
