New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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