omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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