you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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