I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize