It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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