My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Hippo gnu deer
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
