mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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