hotel room ftw
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
too bad you live with your parents still
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
