It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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