Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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