he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
