you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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