Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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