People with herpes should wear stickers.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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