How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
