I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
