found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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