it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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