Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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