I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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