I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
