i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
