Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
