I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Too much gin, very little bucket
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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