Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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