OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize