i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
