i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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