She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
