We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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