I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
