dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.