Who did Billy Mays play for?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.