I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We are two peas in an std pod
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
