PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
