I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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