You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
