Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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