Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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