Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
