bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
