it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
