Non-Jews are for practice
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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