Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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